I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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