Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize