My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
