They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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