I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
