We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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