this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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