in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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