"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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