Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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