:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
