I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize