is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
