I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
