This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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