What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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