we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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