She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
