i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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