Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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