i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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