I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
