she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
