And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
