i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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