dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
