I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
