I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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