I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize