he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize