Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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