soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
