If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's always time for handjobs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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