i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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