If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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