Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
