It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
