I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
