My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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