I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
