My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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