She went from zero to smokin in five shots
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
