I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
