I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Vodka?
Forever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
