just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
