I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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