In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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