I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
