I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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