so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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