I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
