Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
