SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Everclear isn't food dammit
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
