He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Drunk is not a location!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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