Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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