Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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