Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
