last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize