nut hugger
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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