I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
