im holly from the hills drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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