You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
