he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
