i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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