she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"