I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wipe that smile off your face.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block