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i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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