Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for